Jan. 2012

Not much to update this month! We went to the doctor on Friday, Jan. 13, and just had a regular check-up. Her heart rate was 137 which was good, and she's been very active here lately! Her daddy got to feel her move since my last blog, but every time Ethan tries he gets frustrated. :) he's a little impatient, which I wouldn't expect anything else from my 3 year old. We get an ultrasound next month and another check-up with her! It'll be nice to get to see her again on the ultrasound & watch her kick and play! I'll update again once we've been to the specialist again next month for our ultrasound!! Thanks for all the thoughts & prayers!

Hailee Kate

As many of you know by now we are expecting a little girl, Hailee Kate. We went for our ultrasound on December 16, 2011. The day was going as planned and we were all three very excited to find out what our sweet baby was. Never did we think that when we got there that they would discover something was wrong with her. I will never forget the words of the ultrasound tech telling me that there were a few spots on the head that didn't look right to her. As she went to get my midwife all I could do was cry. Ethan was in the room excited about his new little sister, and I just sat there in Steve's arms crying. Well when the ultrasound tech came back in the room, she brought another doctor from the clinic since my midwife was at the hospital doing her rounds. The new doctor started to explain things with the ultrasound tech. And they told us our sweet baby girl has anencephaly. Which is Neural Tubal Defect to where the skull didn't fully develop. My first question was did she have a brain. And the doctor said he wasn't sure from the ultrasounds but he was going to recommend me getting a second opinion from a specialist. At that moment our midwife arrived,not knowing what we had just found out, the new doctor explained to her what was wrong and she just hugged me. They then explained that babies with this abnormality do not live for long, if at all once delivered. They sent us to a normal exam room where all I could do is cry. We decided to call my mom to come get Ethan, our 3 year old, because he just couldn't understand why mommy and daddy were sad. But we knew that we would have to tell him sooner or later. So we sat him down and told him that Hailee Kate has a boo-boo on her head and that we weren't going to get to bring her home. He just lowered his head and became sad, then asked if we could fix her. It broke my heart to hear those words come out of my sweet little mans mouth. He had been saying all along that all he wanted was a little sister and that her name was going to be Hailee Cake! We waited in the room for our midwife to get us an appointment with the specialist. The earliest they could get me in was that following Monday which I hated going home with so many questions and thoughts going through my head. As we were leaving my mom arrived to get Ethan. We sent him with her just to have time to process the whole situation. The whole car ride home was very long, quite and sad. Finally when we got home were we able to look at her ultrasound pictures. We have the sweetest picture of her foot that I'm going to frame! We then decided to lay down and take a nap, as Steve had just came off a 12 hour shift at work & I had a killer headache from crying so much. I ended up not being able to sleep due to so many people texting me and message me on facebook. Everyone was concerned to why I hadn't posted what we were having that morning! It was just too hard to explain this to everybody over and over. Well since I couldn't sleep I decided to get up an research anencephaly to find out more and to see what she would look like. I needed to know if we would want to take Ethan to the hospital or not to meet her once she was born. Looking at the pictures just made me cry more but it was something I was going to have to deal with it because this was now our life and they way our baby girl was going to be born. Many people keep asking if we are going to carry her all the way! And yes we are!! The doctors tell us that she will more than likely pass away during birth but she could live anywhere from minutes to hours or even up to a month. But there is no cure so she will eventually leave us!

That Monday we went to the specialist. It was me, Steve, my mom & our awesome Midwife! We had an ultrasound done for the specialist to confirm what the doctors office had diagnosed her with, which they did. It was so weird watching her move and kick during the ultrasound beings that she is missing the top part of her brain. But she was just as active as a normal baby. They checked her spine and heart chambers, since most of the time anencephaly babies have more than just the brain and skull wrong with them. But not our Hailee Kate. Other than her anencephaly she is a perfect growing baby. All 10 fingers & 10 toes!! She's got long legs & big feet!! After our ultrasound we went into the consult room which is where the doctor came in and explained things to us. We had done quite a bit of research on the internet that weekend. And most of what we had read was true. The two things he recommended were us bringing Ethan to the hospital to see her because he would also need it as a closure with her & also that  I have a natural birth instead of a csection. We had already planned to have a csection done on April 23, 2012. But now plans have changed. We are having a natural birth which really scares me since I had a csection with Ethan and never went into labor at home or anywhere else.

We've been set up with a program called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, which is a local photographer that is going to come in and do pictures of our sweet baby once she is born! So this mommy is on the search for the perfect outfit for my sweet baby girl! :)

I'll update when I can, when we go to the doctor appointments & when and if anything changes!
This blog was created to help me keep family and friends informed on our sweet baby!!
Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!