Monday, May 21, 2012

Happy 1 Month Birthday My Angel!!


Well sweet girl this time a month ago we were waiting your arrival. Me & Daddy were trying our best to rest in the delivery room so that we could spend as much time with you as possible once you arrived. Your big Brother, Mimi, Pops, Maw & Aunt Brittany were all in the waiting room just waiting to meet you. We knew the time was coming soon and that the time we got with you would never be enough. You arrived at 8:46am and you were perfect from head to toe :) You had my long legs, feet & my dark hair. Your daddy took lots of pictures of you. Our nurse Hannah told me that we didn't have long with you because she could feel your heartbeat fading and the tears started rolling down my face. Sitting there holding you in my arms for that short time was not nearly enough and I was not ready to let you go. You were finally here and it just wasn't fair that you didn't get to stay. It wasn't long after that Hannah rechecked your heartbeat and it slowly faded away. I had wondered for so long who would be holding you when you left us, and it was me. I wouldn't have had it any other way. You just looked so peaceful and sweet. You never knew anything but love and in some ways I am grateful for that but at the same time I would give anything to have you back here with us. Your big brother talks about you daily. He says you're his angels that watches him all the time. We went swimming in the pool earlier today with your aunts, Kelsea & Jenna, and Ethan just kept saying my sister Hailee Kate is watching me swim! He's so proud of you and the fact that you are his angel that watches over him. Mother's Day this year was really hard without you here. It just didn't seem fair at all to be celebrating it and not having both my babies in the house with me. Most of my friends are either having babies or have just had a baby and everytime I get on facebook or go to your brothers tball games there are babies everywhere. It makes mommy miss you more than anything. I wish you could be here with us so that I could take you everywhere for everyone to meet you. I know that you're in a better place to where you will never know hurt, heartache, sadness, pain, hate, etc. but so many people here would love for you to be here. This has been the longest/hardest month for me and honestly it doesn't feel like it's been a month. It seems like yesterday we were headed to your funeral. We bought flowers for you at Walmart tonight and I can't wait to go put them at the graveside tomorrow. I can honestly say that I am Jealous of the Angels my sweet girl. I hope you've made lots of friends.  Over the past month Mommy has learned about a lot of other babies just like you and I hope you all are having the best of times. I sure hope you've had the chance to meet Grayson Walker, his birthday is 3 days after your daddy's! His mommy has been there for me and gave me advice when I've needed it, I just know that y'all will be the best of friends. :) Mommy, Daddy & Ethan miss you more than words can describe and we can't wait till we get to see you again! You're the best angel in the world to look over us. Sweet dreams my Hailee Kate & Happy 1 Month Birthday!




*Fly High my Butterfly*